Dear Mr. Vidart:

In the Summer of 1971 you and I, six and five years old at the time, both resided on Harrison Avenue in Glenside, Pennsylvania. You pulled me aside one afternoon and made me an offer: if I would show you my vagina you would give me $1.00.

I accepted your offer.

Together we walked to an abandoned fire pit behind your apartment building. There, out of the reach of prying eyes, I lowered my pants and panties and allowed you to look. In fact, I went further. At your urging I spread my labia so you could more easily see the workings of the human female genitalia. When you had had your fill I put my clothes back in order and waited for my payment.

It was then that you confessed that you did not actually have $1.00. Although I did not think to have you sign a formal promissory note I accepted your verbal commitment to “pay me later.” Unfortunately, forty years later, payment has not been forthcoming.

Mr. Vidart, I am sure you can appreciate my dilemma. For forty years I have been awaiting your payment. You received your end of the bargain – my vulva was freely exposed to your unwaivering gaze until your eyes had had their fill – but I have not yet received my end of the deal.

Therefore, I have been forced to retain legal counsel to collect my long overdue payment, with interest and the value adjusted for inflation. $1.00 in 1971 had the same buying power as $5.51 in 2011. I’m entitled to a high rate of interest given the risk I took. A real interest rate of 18 % puts the amount at $4,134.58. Please remit said amount to the address at the bottom of this letter or I will be compelled to take further action.

Kate Vrijmoet nee Pontoski
306 S. Washington St. #107
Seattle WA, 98104